You think you know, but you just don't.
Parenting is a journey. I would bet money on the fact that you could not find one person who will tell you that they had or even have it all figured out. Even those who strongly believed that their children "would not act/be this way or that".
Each child is their own person. They are born with their own personality. Even though my children are siblings, they have completely different dispositions and brain make up. While some children are more prone to obey/listen well/be laid back, there are other children that will be quirky/ energetic/ require more directive guidance.
I used to think my children would all be pretty much the same child, just in boy or girl form. Ya know what? They are all completely different. It honestly took me until my third kiddo to grasp that concept. While I have a more laid back child as the firstborn, the second time around was not the case. I have an energetic, sassy, spunky, needs re-direction often, receives the majority of the spankings, sweet, smart, hilarious, beautiful little girl. And I would NOT change my children, all that they are, for anyone or anything in the world.
I fell into a trap early on with pre-parenting. I worked with kids. I taught gymnastics. I taught children's church. I volunteered my time in the nursery. I babysat for countless hours in middle and high school. All these situations were helpful in teaching me a little about the nature of children, but nothing will prepare you for being a parent until you have a child. Or two. Or three.
The entire dynamics of a family changes from married couple, to a small family with one child-where focus and attention is solely on them, to two children- where attention is then divided again, and so on as each child is brought into the family.
I used to be that person who judged parenting. I used to think I could control how my children act. As if I could change who they are if I didn't like a certain aspect of them. So, from this side of the fence-if you are not a parent and have ideas about how you will parent-I applaud you and encourage you to stick to your style of parenting and be consistent. If you are a parent, you will understand that all your ideas of parenting will be adjusted according to the children you have. It will adjust according to the lifestyle you have. It will adjust according to your life situations. It will adjust when your husband has a full time job and is a full time pastor. It will adjust when you are a full time mommy who works full time at home. It will adjust when you have 3 kids in a matter of 4 years (when you didn't plan to have kids until you were done with college). It will adjust when you are both college students along with those other roles. It will adjust accordingly.
Let's have some grace. Grace in places we can share understanding with others. While I am not in the exact life stage as other parents, I can share the mindset that parenting is a process. It is a journey. We grow along with our kids. Our minds are drastically transformed as our children go through each stages of life. So, with the politics of parenting, can we offer support to one another and differ from criticism and harsh judgement? I know God has worked tremendously in my heart in the 5 years my children have been in my life. I pray God works in your heart and mind as well.
And p.s. no matter what you think-you cannot "just control" a child. That's a whole other post for another day, but I would say that there is a heart issue within the adult who thinks this way. Which is all too popular.
Each child is their own person. They are born with their own personality. Even though my children are siblings, they have completely different dispositions and brain make up. While some children are more prone to obey/listen well/be laid back, there are other children that will be quirky/ energetic/ require more directive guidance.
I used to think my children would all be pretty much the same child, just in boy or girl form. Ya know what? They are all completely different. It honestly took me until my third kiddo to grasp that concept. While I have a more laid back child as the firstborn, the second time around was not the case. I have an energetic, sassy, spunky, needs re-direction often, receives the majority of the spankings, sweet, smart, hilarious, beautiful little girl. And I would NOT change my children, all that they are, for anyone or anything in the world.
I fell into a trap early on with pre-parenting. I worked with kids. I taught gymnastics. I taught children's church. I volunteered my time in the nursery. I babysat for countless hours in middle and high school. All these situations were helpful in teaching me a little about the nature of children, but nothing will prepare you for being a parent until you have a child. Or two. Or three.
The entire dynamics of a family changes from married couple, to a small family with one child-where focus and attention is solely on them, to two children- where attention is then divided again, and so on as each child is brought into the family.
I used to be that person who judged parenting. I used to think I could control how my children act. As if I could change who they are if I didn't like a certain aspect of them. So, from this side of the fence-if you are not a parent and have ideas about how you will parent-I applaud you and encourage you to stick to your style of parenting and be consistent. If you are a parent, you will understand that all your ideas of parenting will be adjusted according to the children you have. It will adjust according to the lifestyle you have. It will adjust according to your life situations. It will adjust when your husband has a full time job and is a full time pastor. It will adjust when you are a full time mommy who works full time at home. It will adjust when you have 3 kids in a matter of 4 years (when you didn't plan to have kids until you were done with college). It will adjust when you are both college students along with those other roles. It will adjust accordingly.
Let's have some grace. Grace in places we can share understanding with others. While I am not in the exact life stage as other parents, I can share the mindset that parenting is a process. It is a journey. We grow along with our kids. Our minds are drastically transformed as our children go through each stages of life. So, with the politics of parenting, can we offer support to one another and differ from criticism and harsh judgement? I know God has worked tremendously in my heart in the 5 years my children have been in my life. I pray God works in your heart and mind as well.
And p.s. no matter what you think-you cannot "just control" a child. That's a whole other post for another day, but I would say that there is a heart issue within the adult who thinks this way. Which is all too popular.
Comments