It's a Golden Life

It's been a very difficult few weeks for our family. It's actually been difficult for a while now-we just didn't know how much more it would be. I have been struggling to make sense out of what is. My Nanny, whom I love so so dearly, is dying of cancer. Those last four words are so harsh. I've gone through many stages of grief in the past couple weeks since learning about her fast declining health. See, she was receiving treatments and progressing well. She was feeling better and had more energy. There were days with ups and downs, but for the most part, she was getting better. I talked to her Friday, January 27. She was on her way from an appointment. We made small talk about my kids and how she was feeling. Little did I know that this would be the last time I would talk to her while she was coherent. If only I knew that was the last time I talked to her, I would've talked longer, said more-dwelled with her for just a little longer. But we never know. She was taken...

I am having a very tough day. My head is pounding. My heart is breaking. I keep thinking about the last time I visited my Nanny. She still lived in Maryland, in the same house since I was born. Married to the same good ol' guy-Charlie-who is an awesome grandpa. The last time I got to visit with her was over two years ago. My childhood family gatherings on my mothers side were always at my Nanny & Charlie's house. I remember only a few occasions where we got together at one of my Aunts to BBQ and swim. Superbowl parties (go Cowboys-because the Ravens were around until 2000), Holiday gatherings, cookouts and just plain old hang out BBQ's. I have so many lovely memories of my family all together just celebrating love, friendship, and, of course, horseshoes & food. I still have the smell of their house locked into my memory. I sometimes catch a whiff of that certain scent and my mind is taken back to the blue and white chairs in my Nanny's kitchen. The tv in the co...

Life is busy. Sometimes it just feels like I am "getting through" the day. I have little time to myself and hardly manage to take a shower. In fact, I woke up Donovan this morning when (for the third day in a row) Paxton woke up before my alarm and wouldn't go back to sleep just so I could hop in the shower. The kids usually wake up at 7:15...no matter if they went to bed at 8 or 11 and want food, drinks, comfort, cartoons. Immediately "mommy mode" takes over and I begin changing pullups, dressing kids for the day, making cereal....now they want oatmeal, someone wants chocolate milk, someone wants juice, and the fit that comes from the fact that we are all out of strawberries....deal with the fit, (try not to) get frustrated. I haven't had time to take a shower, change out of my pajamas, eat breakfast...let alone brush my teeth. But this strong mommy desire over takes my mind and I want my kids to be comfortable...and quiet :) I've been in a slump for a...

I cannot believe how fast these past 2 months have flown by. I think the holidays come and go and it makes time seem to move a lot faster. Paxton had his 2 month check up on Friday. He is doing very well! Weight: 13 lb 4 oz. Height: 22.5 inches Head: 40 cm (15 inches) Clothes: 0-3 month and some 3-6 month Food: eating about 4 oz every 3 hours (sometimes 2.5) Some things I want to remember about him at 2 months: He sleeps for about 6 straight hours at night. He started sleeping from 10-4 at about 7 weeks. He wakes up to eat at 4 and then goes back down for 2.5-3 more hours. He is loving bath time. I lowered his bottom part of the sling so that his body and legs are almost covered in water. He loves the water to be pretty warm-almost hot. He started talking to us. His most talkative times are in the morning after sleeping all night. He loves to stand with us holding him under his arm pits. He has great neck control but doesn't want anything to do with tummy time. We introduced the Bu...

I know that the actual day of Christmas is not really Jesus' birthday...but it is when we celebrate. I cannot help to think about how Mary and Joseph were feeling at this point. Mary, undoubtedly very uncomfortable in her pregnancy, knew who she was about to labor into this world. Joseph was probably so excited, but nervous. I mean, he was going to be the earthly father to the King of all Kings, Creator of the universe...seems a little intimidating! Mary's labor was not miraculously pain free. She couldn't rely on the medical technology we have now. She endured labor to birth Jesus. And into a barn. Where there are animals roaming. I'll bet it probably smelled, was cold and rather uncomfortable. We're not talking Mercy Hospital-all the cranberry juice you could ever desire. Delicious meals. Someone to change her soiled cloths. The Savior of the world was born as a helpless little baby. He relied on Mary and Joseph to feed him. To keep him clean. To love him and nurt...

There's laundry to be washed, folded and put away. There are dishes to be washed and put away. There are rooms to keep cleaned. There are floors to keep swept and mopped. Carpets to vaccum. BUT my kids are not going to always be so little. I am realizing more and more that there are always going to be THINGS to do. All day. Every day. However, the time I am priviledged to stay at home with my little ones is limited. I often find myself getting caught up in the nonsense of everyday toddler hood as well. Raising kids is hard work. Anyone who says it is easy....needs to let me in on their secret! As I am typing this-I have a newborn on my chest asleep, a 4 year old begging for more chocolate milk and to go to the park and a 2 year old trying to shove a binky into said newborns sleeping locked gums. Lately, if I have a thought and don't write it down...I forget. I can only imagine why! :) I get caught up in the frustrations too. Of children not listening. Of cleaning up toys and no...

I had an idea. I was positive my hubby would not go along with it. I still shared it with him, making sure to tell him he couldn't speak until I was completely finished sharing my idea. We have a (in my opinion) huge master bedroom and bath. The kids each had their own rooms. My idea: switch it up a little! The kids are at a young age where they can still share a room without the need for much privacy. I am also at a point where I want to "purge" all the unnecessary stuff we are hoarding. So! I proposed that we put Halynd, Malachi and (eventually) Paxton in our master bedroom, us move into Malachi's bedroom and have an office in Halynd's room. In my mind, this is genius! We have two ginormous closets in our bathroom as well as a gigantic linen closet. By putting the toys in one closet, the kids will have specific places to put toys and hang up all their dress up clothes. The other closet will be used to house all their clothes. I can put Malachi's clothes on t...