It's a Golden Life

I am watching the neighbor next door. She's pruning her bushes, pulling weeds, arranging a few things in her yard. She finishes, cleans up, and heads inside in about 10 minutes. I can't help but to think about how long it would take me to do that same task! It's funny how I long for quiet or a nap some days, but because of the constant chaos, fulfilling those wants are few and far between. I wouldn't want to trade what I do for any amount of anything. I'm teaching my little girl how to be a mommy, my baby how to crawl and my big boy how to respect his friends. I have the blessing of loving on other kids while their parents are working. The job that I do is so important, I realize this, but that doesn't mean I don't get caught up in wishing they were older. I get caught up in these romantic ideas-not just with my children, but in everyday life. Somewhere along the way, through three kids, marriage and everything else- I have lost my contentment. I have lost t...

Well, we weren't planning on looking for a house to buy for about 6 months. But God had slightly different plans-as always :) We are set to close on April 27th. I could not be more thrilled. I never thought I would care very much about having a house and all. But to be honest, I am SO excited. There are just so many possibilities. With having a daycare at home, it will be so much better for me and the kiddos to have a big room with everything in it to use and not worry about picking it all up right away. I am so looking forward to being able to do many more fun things with the kids instead of having to constantly be worrying about clean toilets and an empty sink. Although cleanliness will still be important, it will be a thousand times better to have one big room and a bathroom to look after during the day. A little about the house-it's 4 bedrooms, 3 baths with a bonus room (daycare room) over the garage and a reading area on the landing. The kitchen is beautiful and open-which...

It's been quite the sleepless week around the Golden house. Poor Paxton has developed allergies already-probably because it's March and everything is already in mid May bloom. He is so stuffy that it has totally messed up his sleeping pattern. Where he was down for the night by 8 and wouldn't wake up until 5 am, he is having issues going down for the night and sleeping in stretches longer than 4 hours. I have to suction him out 2-3 times a night! He is wide awake in the middle of the night. He has trouble eating because of how stuffy he is. His 4 month appointment is on the 28th, so if he is still having issues-I'll talk with the Pediatrician. I have been doing a lot of reading on establishing a more solid bedtime routine for the other two kiddos. We were very rigid with Malachi. We were kind of tough with Haly (it helped that she has always been a great sleeper). Somehow, they still get up in the middle of the night quite often! I am sure that once Malachi starts presc...

I'm such a skeptic. It's who I am. I have an almost impossible time believing something is truth if I haven't experienced it myself first hand. This skepticism plays out everywhere. Sometimes I wish I weren't wired like this. Have you ever wished you weren't wired a certain way? It's truly a set up for failure. Instead of having the ability to learn from others, I am stuck in limbo between wanting to believe the validity in someone elses experience and having to experience it myself. It's not that I'd necessarily prefer to not believe, it's more that I must develop my own perceptions. Hands on experience. I have had many friends who have lost a loved one. I could never understand their depth of hurt or pain. Although I felt sad for them, it goes much deeper than that. That person is no longer a phone call away. All the plans you had with them are ruined and the time it took to dream up those plans, wasted. What's left are the memories of them. Yo...

It's been a very difficult few weeks for our family. It's actually been difficult for a while now-we just didn't know how much more it would be. I have been struggling to make sense out of what is. My Nanny, whom I love so so dearly, is dying of cancer. Those last four words are so harsh. I've gone through many stages of grief in the past couple weeks since learning about her fast declining health. See, she was receiving treatments and progressing well. She was feeling better and had more energy. There were days with ups and downs, but for the most part, she was getting better. I talked to her Friday, January 27. She was on her way from an appointment. We made small talk about my kids and how she was feeling. Little did I know that this would be the last time I would talk to her while she was coherent. If only I knew that was the last time I talked to her, I would've talked longer, said more-dwelled with her for just a little longer. But we never know. She was taken...

I am having a very tough day. My head is pounding. My heart is breaking. I keep thinking about the last time I visited my Nanny. She still lived in Maryland, in the same house since I was born. Married to the same good ol' guy-Charlie-who is an awesome grandpa. The last time I got to visit with her was over two years ago. My childhood family gatherings on my mothers side were always at my Nanny & Charlie's house. I remember only a few occasions where we got together at one of my Aunts to BBQ and swim. Superbowl parties (go Cowboys-because the Ravens were around until 2000), Holiday gatherings, cookouts and just plain old hang out BBQ's. I have so many lovely memories of my family all together just celebrating love, friendship, and, of course, horseshoes & food. I still have the smell of their house locked into my memory. I sometimes catch a whiff of that certain scent and my mind is taken back to the blue and white chairs in my Nanny's kitchen. The tv in the co...

Life is busy. Sometimes it just feels like I am "getting through" the day. I have little time to myself and hardly manage to take a shower. In fact, I woke up Donovan this morning when (for the third day in a row) Paxton woke up before my alarm and wouldn't go back to sleep just so I could hop in the shower. The kids usually wake up at 7:15...no matter if they went to bed at 8 or 11 and want food, drinks, comfort, cartoons. Immediately "mommy mode" takes over and I begin changing pullups, dressing kids for the day, making cereal....now they want oatmeal, someone wants chocolate milk, someone wants juice, and the fit that comes from the fact that we are all out of strawberries....deal with the fit, (try not to) get frustrated. I haven't had time to take a shower, change out of my pajamas, eat breakfast...let alone brush my teeth. But this strong mommy desire over takes my mind and I want my kids to be comfortable...and quiet :) I've been in a slump for a...